informative title

I don't want to do my biology homework and I've already read the oatmeal so hello again blog. I don't even really have anything terribly interesting to say but I suppose that is becoming a theme now so you're very likely used to it.

You know what I have started doing? I have started reading the bible, that is what I have started doing. I know right. The reason I have started reading the bible is this: Most of the time my only job is to stand behind a podium and tear in half tiny pieces of paper with barcodes and numbers on them. I give the numbered half away and keep the barcoded half and stick it in a tiny-piece-of-paper sized opening on my podium that for some reason everyone always thinks is trash, like I would for some reason be standing in front of the worlds smallest garbage can where you dispose of your items two inches at a time. I think I am getting away from the point. What was the point? Oh yes, the holy book of god. Well, sometimes I have very few tiny pieces of paper to tear in half and my life gets really boring really fast. The only activities I can partake in are ones I can sneak to my podium in my pocket and since I don't have a tamagotchi I had to settle for tiny books. I have exactly two tiny books: the new testament and a dictionary, and I've already burned through the dictionary.

I feel sort of like I'm trying to dive into Twilight during Breaking Dawn or something though. I didn't read the old testament so I don't know why everyone hates the Pharisees or even what a Pharisee is and why everyone on Earth deserves to die and why does a lamb get to order everyone around.

I should get a tomagotchi.

Pretty sure I might be failing at being a real person.

Here I am, staring at the ass end of my twenties, and what am I filling my ears with? Well, imagined readers of my blog, I'll tell you what I am filling my ears with. I'm listening to Lipgloss and Letdown. I know this is probably not something that I should be etching into the relative permanence of the internet. However, I am wondering if other mid-to-late twenty year olds are having this same problem. For those of you who are unaware, or young, Lipgloss and Letdown is a song released in 2003 by the band A Static Lullaby. And my problem is this: Where does all this music go after supposed adulthood is expected to have been reached? Is it acceptable to still enjoy laughably emotional angst ballads provided they were written while I was still under the umbrella of relative youth? Or should I have long since discarded them for more sophisticated fare? The thing is, I do not want to discard them. I love that song. I'm not done with Kane Hodder. I still appreciate Vaux. I like to throw From Autumn to Ashes on the ipod and bebop around. And goddammit I still love Thursday. I do not want to give up this collection of screaming emotional word vomit. And it's just this genre. I still listen to Death Cab. And At The Drive In. And Coheed. I do not feel like I should be hiding these aspects of my musical taste. And if I grew up on Fleet Foxes I wouldn't even be here. Here being in this potential quandary...anyway...you know what though? Fleet Foxes are pretty damn boring. Okay? I know, I know everyone loooooves Fleet Foxes but really what do they even have. Seriously. But I digress. The point! The point is that it is this single particular genre of music that one is expected to outgrow. And...I haven't? Does this mean I am not an adult? Or just really terrible at being an adult? I mean, I don't listen to Til My Eyes Bleed or whatever the scene kids are into these days. I'm not actively seeking out *new* bands, although it would be an easy feat since they'll all have names like Kisses Like a Thousand Shards of Glass or Sins of Your Blood Stained Party Dress or whatever. See, even I want to make fun of them! I know they are ridiculous. I know that they are overly metaphorical and trite. But I cannot let them go. Sigh.

this is terrifying

I used to blog on myspace. and livejournal. Okay, confession time: I still blog on livejournal. You will likely never see these thoughts. Livejournal is my own private electronic padlocked diary where I still spew all of my bluthering emo kid...well, emotions. I whine about boys and why don't they like me the way I want them to and you know what sometimes I even write poems. Poems! Nobody writes poems anymore. Do you write poems? Even if you do I bet you answered with an over-confident NO because nobody writes poems anymore. It's embarrassing. And yet I cannot let my livejournal go. I log in every once in a while when I'm feeling particularly angsty and rattle off a few lines. This makes me feel better. like coke! except, you know, nerdy and mock-inducing instead of "cool." You know what else? I use metaphors. I use a shit ton of fucking metaphors. I am that abstract fucker you hate because you do not understand what the twisting vines of shattered nightmares are supposed to represent and am I talking about your face or is that someone else's face buried under a thousand imperfect snowflakes of lust. The thing is, it's not even anyone's face! The face is my poor, dusty heart you broke by not returning my text message or perhaps I stubbed my toe that day. I have reread things I posted years ago and haven't a clue wtf I meant by any of it. And yet I persist. Because it makes me feel better. Let me have this. I need it. or else it will come barreling through the streets over to here like the out of control blob of wayward emotions that it is. See? The metaphors are starting already. Okay technically that is a simile but I feel my original point is still valid.


Be happy it is there instead of here! YOU'RE WELCOME.